Inspiration

More text to come - essentially needing a new project in my life.  Thinking about journaling on healthy lifestyle changes.  So that I can lose my 20lbs to buy a new pair of shoes (current goal!).  And so that I can have a purpose in life since my job is a job and not a career.

Will add more to this post later today . . .

Added:  I have been reading blogs since procrastinating during senior year of college.  http://www.dooce.com/ still makes me laugh out loud and I looooove all of her photographs.  She led me to http://www.loveisblonde.com/ which led me to Mission: Put-Together this past Feb which led me to http://www.heidikins.com/  All very fun to read - each at different places in their lives.  I will definitely say that I have been influenced greatly by each which will show up from time to time in the style or content of my writing.

And Mission: Put - Together made me go to http://www.boden.com/ and http://www.anthropologie.com/ to make the inspirational collage at the top of this post.

I need my life to be more "put-together" or productive or even interesting.  This past weekend was typical for me - sleep too much, read a lil bit, reach out to my limited social network.  The positive note is that I didn't spend much money.  The negative side is I felt like a very boring person.

The book I started reading last night is A Golden Age by Tahmima Anam about the civil war that led E. Pakistan into its new life as Bangladesh.  One of the early passages describes a mother of two, enjoying dawn as it spans across her garden.  She is peaceful even though she's had to make a number of sacrifices to be at that place in her life. 

I want to get to that type of peaceful place.  Many days I awake with a feeling of "annoyance" or worse, total depressive thoughts (not to be confused with days of depression).  I have so many good things on my side - indoor plumbing, supportive family, generous boyfriend (still a new relationship - when does that new feeling change into "I-can't-remember-life-without-you"?)

So I have many goals and have written out some steps to take.   So that I don't get overwhelmed by doing too much at the beginning and FAIIIILLLLING - the first step is going to be ~

Eat breakfast at home

So far, I have accomplished this every day since Friday.  Monday will be my official adding of steps day, and I'm excited to continue this trend which has already shown some success.  I have an easy (free) pastry to consume tomorrow, and the real trick will be Wednesday.  Getting up early enough to either make eggs or oatmeal.

I'm definitely scared of change.  Not in love with who I am, but don't know if I'll like the new person as much either. . .