Breaking Point - Crying

I am on the phone with a nice person stuck working for CitiBank.  I foolishly paid my bill 3 days late Nov 2009 and am now in the default rate of 29.99%.   I take full responsibility for this, and attempt to use this card as little as possible.  I did not carry a balance on the card from Nov 2009 to July 2010. 

But my sister turned 21 in Las Vegas.  My other sister got married this fall.  I have a car that's kinda expensive to maintain (read, fuel pump broke this summer).  My other credit cards are at their maxed out limits.  I have spent almost $2000.00 on this card, ridiculous rate and all!  So I am on the phone with CitiBank almost every other month, just checking to see if my awesome timely payments, and great 6 year history with the company mean I can lower the interest rate.  I was told in August that if I call back after October 15th, they may be able to remove the penalty rate.

Guess what folks?  The 29.99% is not a penalty rate.  It is my standard rate now.  I could have "opted out" and closed the account.  Is that really an option?  This ONE CARD has a credit limit of my other THREE CARDS combined!  Isn't that credit rating suicide? 

The poor customer service employee made me cry.  She was nice, but the policies suck.  I am paying out the ass for charges that may have been on coffee, toilet paper, gas.  Everyday stuff that I couldn't afford to pay for with cash, because my cash is going to rent, student loans, insurance, and utilities.

Now I am a smart person.  I have access to an adding machine and excel spreadsheets.  I know that I am spending beyond my means. 

I don't want to be that sad story of someone with $7388.62 in credit card debt.  That's an identity I don't want to take on, and it makes me feel trapped.  

Currently, my fixed expenses add up to $1620.92 (minimum payments, student loans, rent, utilities, car insurance, car payment).  That leaves me negative 20 bucks to spend on food each month. 

So it is time to cut back drastically.  Cash in my savings bonds.  See what I can sell.  Work overtime. 

And write about everything here - so that my emotions don't sabotage me.