Our relationship was short but intense - a few weeks but we spoke every day and spent so many nights together. It felt like at least a 3 month long relationship - and I was falling deeply in love.
The break up was 2 hours before I was going to introduce him to my family.
While part of me can look back and see that there are a lot of aspects of his character that I would not have wanted long term, I still look back and feel the pain of not knowing him anymore. It has been a week since we broke up, I cried, adjusted my eye make-up and went out with my family, and I'm doing my best to put the relationship in perspective. But, little things remind me of him. We had inside jokes, and opinions on everything under the sun. And I want to tell him about my week, and I want to lean into that nook where his shoulder meets his chest and watch tv together, and I want him back and I know that going backwards is not where I will find happiness.
He was enough goodness to miss. But the relationship was short enough to know that most of the emotion was on my side. I have to hope that I will find all of his good qualities in someone else - with fewer of the bad sides of his personality.
I have to hope that I will be able to move on.
I have to hope that . . . . I will have someone to hold me and stroke my hair and start a family with and put up with my intellectualisms and love me back.
No comments:
Post a Comment