So I've set up my 4 student loans to come due at different times of the month - especially important to balance out from my rent payment and car insurance payment.
Currently we've got
Loan #1 the 1st of the month
Loan #2 the 14th of the month
Loan #3 the 21st of the month
Loan #4 idk - only been paying this one for a month
Soooo essentially, making this many separate payments each month makes me internally feel as though I've got the loans for each month covered. Until I call in to make a payment and find out the amount is 2x or 3x what I expected - meaning the due date has passed and they want multi payments now!
I'm crying inside thinking about all of it. I've signed up for so many "paperless statements" that I don't know where the information about payments is kept. Each website has separate requirements for passwords and usernames, and I'm absolutely sick of technology - especially since my money is only ever numbers on a screen.
At least, my new excel spreadsheet should help me track payments more easily. But writing it into a spreadsheet is not going to help me get money in the bank to back these scheduled payments.
I just want to get to a place where I can DECIDE where my money goes! I am sending 600ish dollars to student loans each month to pay loans with 4-8% interest when I really WANT to send about 100 bucks to them and $500 extra to my 29% card. Why wouldn't that work, student loan people?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Ever-wise
I'm trying to make intelligence supercede emotions in all aspects of my life - especially since I've identified that unhappiness results in spending sprees (food or random stuff at Target) which results in more debt-based unhappiness.
Even so, at the same time, I am still trying to find a life partner.
Do you know how difficult it is to apply "what I know" to dating when "what I feel" is so much stronger? and when I overthink a relationship, it is doomed to fail anyway. Truly, going with emotions can be a better option if I really want to fall in love.
But I'm not ready to fall in love only to get heartbroken again! I'm seeing myself transform into a cynical, empty, baggage-ful 20something. Two months ago, I chose to end a relationship that just wasn't passionate enough. I've been rewarded with a handful of guys who are more focused on the assets I carry in my sweater than my brain power and personality.
This weekend, I spent a day with a new man - one who I've been talking to for over a month and just wasn't getting a good read on him via text message (when I say "talking to" I mean texting. Texts are the new phone call. I hate it. But at least I don't have to worry about going over on my minutes?). Anyway, new guy has terrible texting grammar - I thought either he was not a native English speaker or slightly MR. In real life, he was surprisingly easy to joke with, although he wasn't reading my expressions very well. We spent AGES together, watching sports, movies, talking about stuff, and making out. ;)
I really enjoyed myself and want to see him again. Everyday. Which my mind tells me is not the way this is going to go down. Over the past month, I've found that he is not good at a) planning ahead and b) asking me for a date. Now that we've gotten the first date taken care of, will he improve? Do I continue to pursue other people online?
Where do I stop worrying and start living? The stronger I feel about a man, the more likely I am to be impatient regarding communication and date frequency - which leads to chronic disappointment because HONESTLY PENNY! it is never a good idea for a guy to be able to text/call/email you throughout the day. It means he is unemployed or a slacker at work.
I'm reminding myself to relax. I'm reminding myself to let the relationship flow and develop. I do not need to over-think this. I can use my braincells for figuring out my money situation - and just let my emotions overwhelm me. Because THAT is the best part of dating. The beginning lust and excitement!
Even so, at the same time, I am still trying to find a life partner.
Do you know how difficult it is to apply "what I know" to dating when "what I feel" is so much stronger? and when I overthink a relationship, it is doomed to fail anyway. Truly, going with emotions can be a better option if I really want to fall in love.
But I'm not ready to fall in love only to get heartbroken again! I'm seeing myself transform into a cynical, empty, baggage-ful 20something. Two months ago, I chose to end a relationship that just wasn't passionate enough. I've been rewarded with a handful of guys who are more focused on the assets I carry in my sweater than my brain power and personality.
This weekend, I spent a day with a new man - one who I've been talking to for over a month and just wasn't getting a good read on him via text message (when I say "talking to" I mean texting. Texts are the new phone call. I hate it. But at least I don't have to worry about going over on my minutes?). Anyway, new guy has terrible texting grammar - I thought either he was not a native English speaker or slightly MR. In real life, he was surprisingly easy to joke with, although he wasn't reading my expressions very well. We spent AGES together, watching sports, movies, talking about stuff, and making out. ;)
I really enjoyed myself and want to see him again. Everyday. Which my mind tells me is not the way this is going to go down. Over the past month, I've found that he is not good at a) planning ahead and b) asking me for a date. Now that we've gotten the first date taken care of, will he improve? Do I continue to pursue other people online?
Where do I stop worrying and start living? The stronger I feel about a man, the more likely I am to be impatient regarding communication and date frequency - which leads to chronic disappointment because HONESTLY PENNY! it is never a good idea for a guy to be able to text/call/email you throughout the day. It means he is unemployed or a slacker at work.
I'm reminding myself to relax. I'm reminding myself to let the relationship flow and develop. I do not need to over-think this. I can use my braincells for figuring out my money situation - and just let my emotions overwhelm me. Because THAT is the best part of dating. The beginning lust and excitement!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Mooching and Dating
Good meals are something I really look forward to. I'm also feeling emotionally wounded this week and want to take comfort in food. Not truly sustainable on my new money diet.
Options include mooching and dating. Both going to a friend's house for dinner and making dinner dates can result in me eating well without spending a dime ;) If I'm lucky, restaurant portions will be big enough to provide lunch the next day.
So I had a lovely meal Monday night at my sister's house. But they whine and complain about money a lot too, so I know that I really can't make that a Monday night tradition without pitching in and buying some of the ingredients. Which puts me back at the starting line. Except, I'd have to buy food for 3 people because my sister is married. And her husband eats a lot. Clearly, I need to find better mooching opportunities.
So I'm single - hence the living on my own and having to cover all of my expenses. It would be super nice to bring another earner into my life. But marrying for money is not possible for this lady - I've tried dating without passion and I don't like it.
However, dating for a good meal out doesn't seem like it is very wrong. Of course, I'm not going to accept a date with someone I'm not at all interested in (looking at you T, c'mon, you really think "I like to cuddle and I'm good at hugs" is a good pick-up line? I need more content to figure out if you're worth my time). I looooooove eating at restaurants, and thought I had a date all lined up for Saturday night. But he is also having budget issues and I flubbed the invite to eat at his house instead. He's a smoker and I couldn't imagine trying to eat in his apartment while he is smoking. Because the secondhand smoke seriously suppresses my appetite. I mean, I'm not hungry the next morning after spending an evening with him and I'm someone who typically needs to eat within an hour of waking up. However, when I made a joke about that - he took great offense and we will not be seeing each other ever again.
There goes my free meal - and I'm also very upset that I don't get to see this man again. He was intelligent, complimentary, attentive, HOT, etc. Had so many good characteristics - except for the smoking, un-sugar daddy status, and clearly a paranoia about me not thinking he was good enough. He had made a few comments about how I would never end up with someone in his social class. And clearly he was right, because HE let it get in the way. So, emotional disappointment of getting dumped (is it dumped if it was supposed to be our 4th date?) combined with no meals to look forward to has me looking up menus during my lunch hour. Half of me says "10 dollars for dinner isn't that bad" and the other half responds with a sharp "there is no 10 dollars to spend! you spent it all already!" buuuut other people making me food tastes so much better. . .
Guess I'll keep looking for someone ready to be a partner and someone who understands my communication style, jokes and all. Money had always been a side concern of mine (probably why I didn't notice all the debt I was racking up), but let's be honest. I have enough worries of my own that I don't want to think about if you have the gas money to drive over and see me.
Options include mooching and dating. Both going to a friend's house for dinner and making dinner dates can result in me eating well without spending a dime ;) If I'm lucky, restaurant portions will be big enough to provide lunch the next day.
So I had a lovely meal Monday night at my sister's house. But they whine and complain about money a lot too, so I know that I really can't make that a Monday night tradition without pitching in and buying some of the ingredients. Which puts me back at the starting line. Except, I'd have to buy food for 3 people because my sister is married. And her husband eats a lot. Clearly, I need to find better mooching opportunities.
So I'm single - hence the living on my own and having to cover all of my expenses. It would be super nice to bring another earner into my life. But marrying for money is not possible for this lady - I've tried dating without passion and I don't like it.
However, dating for a good meal out doesn't seem like it is very wrong. Of course, I'm not going to accept a date with someone I'm not at all interested in (looking at you T, c'mon, you really think "I like to cuddle and I'm good at hugs" is a good pick-up line? I need more content to figure out if you're worth my time). I looooooove eating at restaurants, and thought I had a date all lined up for Saturday night. But he is also having budget issues and I flubbed the invite to eat at his house instead. He's a smoker and I couldn't imagine trying to eat in his apartment while he is smoking. Because the secondhand smoke seriously suppresses my appetite. I mean, I'm not hungry the next morning after spending an evening with him and I'm someone who typically needs to eat within an hour of waking up. However, when I made a joke about that - he took great offense and we will not be seeing each other ever again.
There goes my free meal - and I'm also very upset that I don't get to see this man again. He was intelligent, complimentary, attentive, HOT, etc. Had so many good characteristics - except for the smoking, un-sugar daddy status, and clearly a paranoia about me not thinking he was good enough. He had made a few comments about how I would never end up with someone in his social class. And clearly he was right, because HE let it get in the way. So, emotional disappointment of getting dumped (is it dumped if it was supposed to be our 4th date?) combined with no meals to look forward to has me looking up menus during my lunch hour. Half of me says "10 dollars for dinner isn't that bad" and the other half responds with a sharp "there is no 10 dollars to spend! you spent it all already!" buuuut other people making me food tastes so much better. . .
Guess I'll keep looking for someone ready to be a partner and someone who understands my communication style, jokes and all. Money had always been a side concern of mine (probably why I didn't notice all the debt I was racking up), but let's be honest. I have enough worries of my own that I don't want to think about if you have the gas money to drive over and see me.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Addictions
Caffeinated soda
Gas Station Cheese filled breadsticks
Baked Lays
I just really can't make these any cheaper folks! I've splurged twice already. Went out for dinner last night instead of making myself go home and eat out of the pantry. $10 bucks gone . . . thanks McAllister's potatoes and sweet tea. Apparently, I'm feeling carb-loading-rific lately. This morning, I grabbed 2 breadsticks and some baked lays when all I really needed was a caffeine kick. $4 more bucks gone.
$14 doesn't feel like a lot, right? More than an hour of work though. And about $14 that I can't afford. I put it all on my debit card though. So YAY! I'm not paying 30% interest on it! However, I am paying for what I already bought last month. The whole thing is making my head spin.
At least last night I broke up with my internet provider. It was a clean break - I said no thank you, they disconnected me, and I didn't get an extra charge for discontinuing services! I may even get $50 bucks back since I pre-paid for December. Hope the cute guy behind the counter was telling the truth. Thanks for the 2 great years of anywhere internet connection, Verizon. The services were lovely, just waaaay to expensive to maintain. Thank goodness my computer died anyway so I don't feel bad about not having the internet at home anymore. . . now the question is do I try and get my computer repaired? Or just live with it dead and call it modern art?
Gas Station Cheese filled breadsticks
Baked Lays
I just really can't make these any cheaper folks! I've splurged twice already. Went out for dinner last night instead of making myself go home and eat out of the pantry. $10 bucks gone . . . thanks McAllister's potatoes and sweet tea. Apparently, I'm feeling carb-loading-rific lately. This morning, I grabbed 2 breadsticks and some baked lays when all I really needed was a caffeine kick. $4 more bucks gone.
$14 doesn't feel like a lot, right? More than an hour of work though. And about $14 that I can't afford. I put it all on my debit card though. So YAY! I'm not paying 30% interest on it! However, I am paying for what I already bought last month. The whole thing is making my head spin.
At least last night I broke up with my internet provider. It was a clean break - I said no thank you, they disconnected me, and I didn't get an extra charge for discontinuing services! I may even get $50 bucks back since I pre-paid for December. Hope the cute guy behind the counter was telling the truth. Thanks for the 2 great years of anywhere internet connection, Verizon. The services were lovely, just waaaay to expensive to maintain. Thank goodness my computer died anyway so I don't feel bad about not having the internet at home anymore. . . now the question is do I try and get my computer repaired? Or just live with it dead and call it modern art?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Spend Less
Day 2 of my new life as a spendthrift. So far, I have spent 60 cents outright - on a can of soda to alleviate my caffeine headache. I really wanted to get something hot for lunch, but absolutely did not let myself leave the office to make the deposits until I had eaten my PB&J and a brownie. Not sure what today has cost me in rent/utilities/fuel for the car. Maybe I'll count that out another day to see how much working translates into putting money in my coffers. In the current state of things, I know it will be a good long while before working will yield enough for savings.
Babysitter, anyone?
So far the money diet hasn't exactly been a nutritional diet - losing weight would be a great side effect of eliminating unnecessary spending. I don't need KFC, I'll just eat my own body fat! (Plenty of it for now!)
I'm pretty good at sticking to a plan for the first few days - but then splurging out of frustration and boredom.
Babysitter, anyone?
So far the money diet hasn't exactly been a nutritional diet - losing weight would be a great side effect of eliminating unnecessary spending. I don't need KFC, I'll just eat my own body fat! (Plenty of it for now!)
I'm pretty good at sticking to a plan for the first few days - but then splurging out of frustration and boredom.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Breaking Point - Crying
I am on the phone with a nice person stuck working for CitiBank. I foolishly paid my bill 3 days late Nov 2009 and am now in the default rate of 29.99%. I take full responsibility for this, and attempt to use this card as little as possible. I did not carry a balance on the card from Nov 2009 to July 2010.
But my sister turned 21 in Las Vegas. My other sister got married this fall. I have a car that's kinda expensive to maintain (read, fuel pump broke this summer). My other credit cards are at their maxed out limits. I have spent almost $2000.00 on this card, ridiculous rate and all! So I am on the phone with CitiBank almost every other month, just checking to see if my awesome timely payments, and great 6 year history with the company mean I can lower the interest rate. I was told in August that if I call back after October 15th, they may be able to remove the penalty rate.
Guess what folks? The 29.99% is not a penalty rate. It is my standard rate now. I could have "opted out" and closed the account. Is that really an option? This ONE CARD has a credit limit of my other THREE CARDS combined! Isn't that credit rating suicide?
The poor customer service employee made me cry. She was nice, but the policies suck. I am paying out the ass for charges that may have been on coffee, toilet paper, gas. Everyday stuff that I couldn't afford to pay for with cash, because my cash is going to rent, student loans, insurance, and utilities.
Now I am a smart person. I have access to an adding machine and excel spreadsheets. I know that I am spending beyond my means.
I don't want to be that sad story of someone with $7388.62 in credit card debt. That's an identity I don't want to take on, and it makes me feel trapped.
Currently, my fixed expenses add up to $1620.92 (minimum payments, student loans, rent, utilities, car insurance, car payment). That leaves me negative 20 bucks to spend on food each month.
So it is time to cut back drastically. Cash in my savings bonds. See what I can sell. Work overtime.
And write about everything here - so that my emotions don't sabotage me.
But my sister turned 21 in Las Vegas. My other sister got married this fall. I have a car that's kinda expensive to maintain (read, fuel pump broke this summer). My other credit cards are at their maxed out limits. I have spent almost $2000.00 on this card, ridiculous rate and all! So I am on the phone with CitiBank almost every other month, just checking to see if my awesome timely payments, and great 6 year history with the company mean I can lower the interest rate. I was told in August that if I call back after October 15th, they may be able to remove the penalty rate.
Guess what folks? The 29.99% is not a penalty rate. It is my standard rate now. I could have "opted out" and closed the account. Is that really an option? This ONE CARD has a credit limit of my other THREE CARDS combined! Isn't that credit rating suicide?
The poor customer service employee made me cry. She was nice, but the policies suck. I am paying out the ass for charges that may have been on coffee, toilet paper, gas. Everyday stuff that I couldn't afford to pay for with cash, because my cash is going to rent, student loans, insurance, and utilities.
Now I am a smart person. I have access to an adding machine and excel spreadsheets. I know that I am spending beyond my means.
I don't want to be that sad story of someone with $7388.62 in credit card debt. That's an identity I don't want to take on, and it makes me feel trapped.
Currently, my fixed expenses add up to $1620.92 (minimum payments, student loans, rent, utilities, car insurance, car payment). That leaves me negative 20 bucks to spend on food each month.
So it is time to cut back drastically. Cash in my savings bonds. See what I can sell. Work overtime.
And write about everything here - so that my emotions don't sabotage me.
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